Tuesday, August 5, 2014

I've Got Time. Really.


How is your summer going?  Mine is going pretty well!  But it's going.  Really fast.  It's August already and my list of things "to do"and " to enjoy" has hardly a dent in it.  Life keeps getting in the way.  Unexpected things that demand attention. I try not to let them "steal my joy",  but they do steal my time.  No worries, I tell myself, you've got time.  But I never seem to have enough time.  Where does it go?  What do I do with it?

I think sometimes I worship my lists and am a slave to them and to time. Tic, tock, tic, tock.  I make these list and measure my day by how many things get checked off.  How productive I am.  I have many lists.  So much to do!  I mean, that's life, right?  Stuff to do.  People to see.  Places to go.  Accomplishment.  Something to show for my time. You can't waste time, right?  It's gone so fast and we must make the most of it.  Squeeze the most out of every second.

And it is gone fast.  And we do need to get things done.  I'm just wondering about all the striving.  And doing.  Sometimes I feel like a hamster on a wheel.  Lots of motion, but not really going anywhere!  And where should I go?  There are volumes on living a purposeful life and self help.  The seven habits and all that.  I wonder.  If I just work and garden and draw, have a good laugh, is that enough?  

I don't want to be remembered for my clean floors or sparkling windows or even my art.  I want to be remembered for some kindness I may have done. For a comforting word spoken at the right time.  Maybe for my laughter.  For taking the time for others.  And ok, maybe I want to leave behind some decent art :)

Today,  I stopped and, well, just stopped.   Today I put down the list and drew.  I drew my dad.  Brushed the dog.  Picked some veggies.  Sat in the sun.  The world has not stopped because I didn't scratch six things off a list.

Forget the list.  Today, I don't have TIME for a list!  

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